you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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