I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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