i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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