3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
the liver wants what the liver wants
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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