Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize