i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize