We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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