You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The struggles of a small town man whore
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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