Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
