Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
