pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
