Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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