I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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