I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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