Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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