I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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