I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
