you're like a bully in the Christmas story
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
