he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
