Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
