so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
