Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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