Dual....:-)
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
