What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
