Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
