Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
