I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
