Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
