Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Just pee around me
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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