you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
