I got chris browned last night
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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