As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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