ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You need Xanax blowdarts
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
