it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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