My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I just googled if crying burns calories
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
