standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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