Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
