One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
