no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
