Sponge bath it is.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
