Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
