I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
