he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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