Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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