i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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