I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
nutella sex= disaster
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
