Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.