His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
