first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
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He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
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future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then