Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now