hey, what are you doing tonight?
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
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Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship