I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
