i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.