Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.

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(917): View more from New York City

we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(719): View more from Colorado

Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."

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(339): View more from Massachusetts

I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth

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(316): View more from Kansas

We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba

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