if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!