remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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