32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My bed smells like the plague
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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