it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
This baby is an asshole
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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