So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
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the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
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Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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