I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
