I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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