bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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