I am puke
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
