those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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