"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
