His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
