you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
His hands were made for my vagina.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
